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Restaurant Reviews

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Mar. 24th, 2006 | 12:33 pm
mood: hungry hungry

I have talked to Aya the reporter about a restaurant column for her newspaper in the past, but she seemed highly reluctant to hire me as a writer, saying something about liability. I think she was also rather upset when I tried to eat her crow. I didn't realize it was her pet at the time.

With the discovery of LiveJournal, though, I can now have a culinary opinion blog of my very own.

Scarlet Tea Room

It is well known that the maids of the Scarlet Mansion are unequaled cooks, having been tasked to render human flesh & blood into innocuous, everyday foods when their vampiric mistress does not feel like taking her nourishment from the source. Because of that, I was unsurprised when I found they had opened a restaurant. Although the location listed on the website is rather puzzling- is Pasadena the name of the surrounding lake?- there's only one place where a tea room named Scarlet could be in Gensokyo. Of course, I resolved to dine there at once.

Perhaps I should have made a reservation. The employees of the Scarlet Mansion seemed entirely unaware that there was a restaurant on their premises; instead of offering to seat me, they attacked me as if I were an intruder. This type of poor service is not unusual in Gensokyo, but even to one born and bred here, it seems terribly rude. Perhaps they think they're doing me a favor by allowing me to practice my danmaku, but I'd really rather sit down and eat.

Eventually I fought my way to the salad bar, which, despite my misgivings, was exemplary. Most dining establishments neglect the tastes of ghosts and youkai in favor of the puny palates of humans; not so the Scarlet Tea Room, which had planted all manner of greens which the former find delightfully tangy, but the latter lethal. Such delights as belladonna, foxglove, oleander, wormwood, and even the unusual Death Cap mushroom- all were present. I had a wonderful time sampling them.

Eventually, the head maid- a human time wizardess I've met once or twice before- arrived to take my order. I attempted to ask her about the five course tea service, but she responded by throwing knives at me. Clearly there must have been some sort of misunderstanding. Since the salad had been reasonably filling, I decided to excuse myself and return another day, this time after making a reservation.

The Scarlet Tea Room is clearly capable of producing excellent food, but their service is unacceptable. I daresay that a lesser being would have dropped dead at the affront to their manners. Regrettably, I cannot recommend this dining establishment until they get their act together.

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Comments {2}

Sakuya Izayoi

From: sakuya_izayoi
Date: Mar. 24th, 2006 08:46 pm (UTC)
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You...! Remilia-ojou-sama's house is private property, not a restaurant, and even if it was, who would want to serve you?

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Yuyuko Saigyouji

From: yuyukosaigyouji
Date: Mar. 26th, 2006 07:00 am (UTC)
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Well, Youmu-chan does, for one. In fact, she's been so busy serving me that she hasn't had time to post lately. ^^;; I should give her a day off.

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